If you’re finding that your needs aren’t being met in your relationship now, it’s a direct reflection of needs not met then.
If your needs were not met then ( in your childhood, or in your past), chances are you’ve attracted that perfect someone or some-many who’s done an excellent job of reflecting that bit-lip syndrome when it comes to communication ( or expressing your needs). These are the holes in your lining and what keeps you going under again and again.
Here’s what needs-not-met reflects- lack of compassion, lack of connection, lack of communication, and ultimately, lack of communion. In a nutshell, when you hole up and cut off in order to self-protect, you perpetuate that pattern of lack through inhibiting your connection with another.
In order to fill that hole and be whole, we have to connect. you have to allow yourself to come out of that hardened shell and open to the experience of love and trust. And if you’re tired of falling into the exhausted old roles and uttering the well-rehearsed lines of martyrdom and victim-hood, this is your time now to move beyond the fallacies of false self and enter into the Truth of who you’ve always been.
The key element that you never got, the thing that wasn’t reflected back to you when you were small (and maybe never since) is that You matter. And matter, you do. You may not have seen that reflected back from the eyes of the ones you’ve loved or heard it in so many words. But despite all the proof or the evidence that you’ve been in hot pursuit of that never seemed to materialize, the truth of the matter is- you are Enough.
Do you believe that, on some certain level? Can you drink that in? Because that mirror you’re looking for and that evidence you’re seeking ( you know, the proof that you’re ok, that you’re special, that you’re beautiful, that you’re loved)- you will only ever truly receive that in your life once you elicit it from your own love for self.
That’s right, until you love yourself (by way of just stepping into the role of foster care here. Consider yourself a stray or an orphan who just needs another chance and a solid home to come up in, and a good healthy dose of love). Until you step into that role For You ( ‘cuz no one else can do it for you at this point) and be the advocate- expressing directly and clearly your needs, and by way of being the surrogate- feeding life nourishment and support of vital nutrients- you will continue to feel needy and abandoned and therefore resentful. And in that loop, nothing will change.
So how do you go about this thing called love? How do you set about rescuing and revitalizing that you that you’ve lost along the way? You retrace your steps and go back to a place of connection with the one who matters most. You find and establish a connection with the one within.
Go to her now, go to that child and wrap your arms around her. Go to her and get reacquainted with who you were then. She holds in her heart the love that was never tainted, the joy that runs like a river, the creativity that is unquestioned, and the spark of life which has been the apex of your quest. She holds within her the key to forgiveness. And that is something that without you cannot progress. As many directions as you can face outward in the name of what needs to be forgiven, the most pivotal place that you must turn now is to your own self so that you can cleanse you of all the ways that you’ve turned your back on your own inner kid.
And when you go to her, you will see that she still believes, that she so adores you, that the vision of life that you hold in your heart is what she knows to be true, without any question, without any attachment to what’s been or what is. She is pure and profoundly wise, as all children are in their god-like state. She knows the way forward, and never doubted it. It was you that had forsaken the truth, and in the process disconnected from this place in you that believes without question, that loves without limits, that lives without restriction, that knows what it is to Be a Child of God and can show you the way back to that place again.
Go to her now for your memory to be restored, for your conscious to be cleansed. Go to her now to believe in the wonder and the miracles of life and as you reconnect with her you will be able to let those miracles and that magic back in. Children are so forgiving, and you will find, as you look into her eyes and she sees in you the woman that she knew she would someday be, and that she's proud to be part of that woman, and that forgiveness is a given for free. She SEES you fully for who you are, and not for all of the shadows you’ve assumed your self to be. She Sees you wholly and unconditionally and wants only for you to be bathed in the love that you are undeniably worthy of, and in this she wants you to believe now as you believed in you then. Allow yourself to be absolved from the sin of turning your back on this precious part of you, of this most sacred aspect of the You within. And as you open to reconnection with this place in you, you will feel your light shining again.
Going back to this place inside and the child that's been hidden or hiding you can bring grace and love to the 'then' that keeps you from the now and in this you can heal all of the 'what hasn't been'. By coming to a place of forgiveness for it all, by allowing it to be perfect in what it's been, then you are removed from that pothole of the past and you are set free to create and breathe and express again. Fully, in the now place. Fully, as your self. And all that's required is that you see with new eyes. And the miracle that wipes your vision clear is the simple and profound act of you loving yourself whole again.
Be the beauty, be the light! Let yourself live again!
Blessings and grace,
~Rhonda
Copyright © 2010 Rhonda Simpson~Conscious Co-Creating. Permission is granted to copy and redistribute this transmission on the condition that the content remains complete and in tact, full credit is given to the author, and that it is distributed freely
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